You Know You’re a Parent When…

There is nothing like being a parent. The kids that melt your heart can also drive you crazy. Our children bring so much excitement to our lives -love, joy, laughter, frustration, psychosis etc. When you’re a parent you know that every day is going to be an adventure -some you’ll relish and some you’ll wish you could forget.

I’ve been writing about some heavy stuff the last few posts, so I wanted to lighten the mood a little before we delve back into the topic of loneliness. I’ve never devoted an entire post to humor, but I said something to Carrie the other night, and I thought to myself, “You know you’re a parent when you say…” So, what did I say? I’ll give you a hint: it’s in the list below. I hope these make you laugh or smile and bring a ray of happiness to your day today. No matter what stage of life we’re in, we can always use a laugh.

You know you’re a parent when…

  1. You’re alone with your wife on a date, and you tell her you “have to go potty.”
  2. You sneak Gerber Baby Puffs into the movie theater.
  3. You get excited about the “cool” features of your new minivan.
  4. You offer baby wipes to the guy eating ribs at the table next to you.
  5. The first thing you look for on the menu is the “Kid’s Meal” section.
  6. Your kitchen drawer full of hand-towels is empty in less than a day because of spills.
  7. You’re ecstatic because diapers and Cheerios are on sale this week.
  8. The decorations at your house are crafts made in children’s church.
  9. Stains are a normal part of your décor.
  10. Bedtime is a higher priority than your child’s hygiene.
  11. The song you can’t get out of your head is If You’re Happy and you Know It.
  12. All the “recommendations” on Netflix are animated movies.
  13. 93% of your Amazon wish list consists of toys.
  14. You post the newest changes to car seat laws on Facebook.
  15. Someone asks have you read any good books lately, and you respond, “Little Critter: The New Potty”.
  16. Bedtime requires hours of potty breaks, water refills, and negotiations.
  17. Walking barefoot through your house in the dark puts your feet in grave danger.
  18. You wake up in the middle of the night terrified because a child was staring at you while you slept.
  19. The toys that make noises are no longer “awesome”.
  20. The sound of the opening candy dish wakes you at 6:00am the day after trick-or-treat.
  21. The Tooth-fairy borrows money from a nearby piggy bank.
  22. Mom’s absence from home is apocalyptic.
  23. You can’t remember the last time you went to the bathroom alone.
  24. Someone asks you what you like to do for fun and you respond, “Sleep!”
  25. Your idea of a break is sitting alone in your van in the Walmart parking lot eating a Snickers.

You’re not alone in this journey. I hope you pass this on to someone who might enjoy reading it and needs a little smile. Happy parenting!

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